for soup
sore throat demands it
rain has stopped
for now.
put on my coat
and the blonde wig I've been using
for a hat
quick look in the mirror:
women's coat,
women's burgundy corduroy pants (not too feminine, but still)
wig
red painted fingernails…
yep
i’m goin’ for the lipstick.
put on just a bit at first
then more to even out the edges
smack
then i wipe off a bit
perhaps trying to cut down on the garishness factor
perhaps out of fear
of hillbillies in trucks
of football players
of people who wear sports clothing in general
of military personnel
trump supporters
family
friends
and persecuted ethnic minorities with a deeply-driven fear of appearing weak
or “queer”
(a word i’ve never really related to,
but perhaps the time has come to choose sides…)
all of these spiraling details
in just a little flash of
paint
magnified in significance
by my hyperactive imagination
until it isn’t.
I walk out the door and into the night
hoping I wiped enough away that it
won’t leave a stain on my soup spoon
and kind of hoping that i didn’t
too.
